Nowadays it seems like everybody has advice for women about how to be marriage material. Many a jackleg charlatan relationship guru has created and sold templates convincing women that it’s all they need to “get the ring.” The whole phenomenon implies that marriage is a blessing bestowed upon women who prove themselves worthy. We hardly ever give consideration to the type of man who deserves a wife.
So in the interest of equal opportunity, I thought men could use some actionable guidelines as well. Because why should women get to have all the fun? Below are 10 ways men can prove they’re marriage material:
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Carry yourself like you want to be taken seriously.
Women don’t take men seriously unless they behave like they should be taken seriously. What does this mean, fellas? It means stop sending unsolicited dick pics. No woman receives a pic of your beefcake that she expressed no interest in and thinks about settling down with you. Or ever returning your calls and texts again. It’s creepy and it ignores consent, which is a red flag. Besides, you want to lead with your best assets and chances are you’re overestimating your worth in this area. (See #10 for why that’s a reasonable assumption.)
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Communicate effectively.
Women value men who are able to make their desires and needs clearly known. All that jazz about women not being able to handle the truth is a fairy tale and it’ll have you thinking women are more delicate than we are. So men, do not – I repeat – do not freak out when she asks “What are we?” It’s most likely that one of two things is happening: She’s asking because she needs to make some executive decisions about her harem of men and is trying to figure out what your role should be. Or she’s asking because you two have been bumping uglies for 8 months. You have a whole toothbrush at her place along with your own section in her chest of drawers and a daily routine that includes her…but still no title. Communication, fam.
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Let go of past baggage.
If there’s one thing women hate, it’s having to pay for the sins of previous women. You have to let that hurt go. We know the story. Theresa, your third grade crush, stomped on the valentine you gave her while professing your undying love and called you an “African booty scratcher.” And since that day you vowed to never let another woman hurt you again. We know. But you have to let it go and get out of your own way of love. Women will never take you for marriage material as long as you’re carrying all that baggage.
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Have some self-respect and standards.
This is a big one, guys. This is for all of you who haven’t had your 4:44 revelation yet. Leave women alone if you are emotionally unavailable. Don’t come to women expecting them to delight in the company of a man with the emotional maturity of a four-year-old who has to be reminded to “use your words.” It’s your job to grow yourself up, not ours. We don’t want you in that state and you should respect yourself enough not to offer yourself in that state. Simple enough, yeah?
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Show yourself loyal and supportive.
This is supremely important particularly if you’re trying to win the affections of a Black woman. Don’t half-ass your dedication to Black women. If you’ll only date certain kinds of Black women (e.g. light-skinned) then you just may not deserve to date any of us. Similarly, be fully supportive of Black women because Black women are making moves as the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in the U.S. and the most educated group in the U.S. We don’t need dead weight.
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Never try to change a woman.
One of the most unfortunate things about men is your tendency to try to change women. It’s a terrible habit that men bring into relationships. If you’re dealing with a brilliant, dynamic, vibrant, bad ass woman try to keep your ego in check and don’t expect her to quiet or shrink herself for your sake. She’ll love you forever for it.
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Be consistent.
Consistency is key and is a clear indicator to women of whether or not you’re marriage material. How to be consistent? Easy! If you’re the type of man who places lots of importance on being the head of the household while women maintain the household, well…you guessed it! It should be equally important to you to provide that household. Think a woman should cook and clean and keep a pleasant home atmosphere? Swell! Then you must also think it’s your responsibility to make sure she has a home where she can cook and clean and keep a pleasant atmosphere. Going halfsies would just be inconsistent and women do not like inconsistency.
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Or be useful.
Many men aren’t willing or aren’t able to provide a household for women and that’s okay because luckily for you, women are quite reasonable. Just be willing to do your share around the house and watch how smoothly things go!
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But not too useful.
Does that seem confusing, contradictory or impossible to decipher? Perfect! It wouldn’t be solid “relationship guru” advice if it weren’t paradoxical in some way. Just remember: be consistent. Or be useful. But not too useful because then that would be unattractive to women and you’ve fucked up your chances. Got it? Great!
And finally…
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Know how to locate a clitoris.
You guys are really coming up short in this arena (no penis puns intended). If you’re dating cishet women there’s no skimping on this. But research shows that you have been since heterosexual women have fewer orgasms than literally everyone else! So fellas, put your pride aside. Put away those tricks you used on your last romantic/sexual interest because they’re not one-size-fits-all. And she was probably faking, anyway. Learn what your current likes and for the love of a decent orgasm, find her clitoris. Use it. It’s the only organ that’s sole purpose is pleasure. How do you mess that up?!
That’s all I have for you kids so this is the part where I tell you to follow these rules and women will see you as marriage material in no time. Parting words of wisdom: if you do all of this and make it to the finish line but still get cheated on just remember that it’s not your fault. It’s just women’s nature. You gotta hold her down and push through it until she comes to her senses and realizes what she has in you. Seems legit, amirite?
Perfection!
Thank you!
Yes girl ??????
Gonna be lots of loney women out there. Until you realize your demands arent worth supporting you.
Cool story!
When you ladies learn your demands are not working… It will be to late. LOL enjoy your cats!
I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
But hey jhon I read all this, and this is the proof.
After reading all this I have a few questions:
What for? What do I win for all this?
Couse the last time I only got trouble.
Don’t try to change a women… I agree, allow me to add: don’t try to change a men!
And usefull but not too much… conflicting?
Well why should I live in conflict?
Why torture my selft in that way?
I got a better idea ?
1 word that saves life’s, avoids suicide, broken homes, divorce rape, bankruptcy, depression etc..
MGTOW
Thats it, be free, no more conflict, no more be “usefull, but not too much”
MGTOW
JHON brother, you will learn as I did, I hope you read this. You should start with tom leikys, or Stephan mollineux, Karen straugtham, turd flinging monkey. Or read something from a pro: Esther villar.
Good luck to all men, run for your life.
Yes, please go your own way.
Marriage is a blessing bestowed upon women. It gives them the divorce option and lots of free money. Freeeeeee moneeeeeeeyyyy
I think the benefits are largely myths. But let’s discuss them…
1. Men live longer. Actually, this is a myth. The main reason once you read the studies is they ‘pretend’ widowed and/or divorced people were ‘single’. Which when factored in, divorced people live shorter lives. With an estimated 50% divorce rate, most initiated by women, one can conclude that most men end up divorced unwillingly. So, you could end up dying sooner.
2. Married men make more $$. They do earn more and have more assets, but they have to work more to get here. They sacrificing life for work. More interesting though, women make less when married compared to when single. So, do married men work more to compensate? Men get less free time (working more) and women more free time (working less)? I mean there is the children factor and being a single father 50% of the month I can say there is more work with children, but definitely not 40 hours a week worth so I would hypothesize married women must have more free time. And no, my house is spotless, owned fully, acre plus lawn maintained by me and we don’t eat out much and except for bread, milk, cheese and pasta our food is made from scratch (once a month cooking is a life saver!). I do cheat once in a while and make boxed mac-n-cheese, sue me. But that is anecdotal I know.
3. More sex in this order (percent who have sex 2 times a week): 52% cohabitation, 42% married, 37% single. The difference between married and single isn’t much but at least with single you get variety and time pursuing your hobbies because you work less, spend more of what you make, etc. However, the studies do show single men spend a good chunk of change dating…
You did a lot here but I’m not entirely sure why.
Because we’re not here to simply be selected!!! It must be based in reciprocity of “wins” for both. Maybe we can shift this thinking to Act like a man, think like a woman”…. Lol. But seriously for too long we have acknowledged that finding a husband is a prize… Shifting everything to accommodate being married…. What are we requiring in return to say he makes the cut? Love this. In my personal opinion number ten is the LEAST negotiable… ?
And after jumping through all these hoops, what does a man get in return? More demands accompanied by threats of damaging litigation.
According to the CDC, http://www.statisticbrain.com/marriage-statistics/
a whopping 6.6% of first marriages last to the 10 year mark.
Add in all the laws that are written in favor of women at the expense of men in divorce and child custody, why would you expect a man with half a brain to risk his life jumping through your hoops for the privilege of access to your vagina. And only YOUR vagina. I doubt sex with you (or any woman for that matter) is worth jumping through endless hoops to please you. I doubt dodging litigation for the privilege of only having sex with one woman who has the power, incentive, and statistical likelyhood to destroy a man, is going to have them lining up to play the role of praying mantis.
Regardless of a woman’s abundance of Education, Accomplishment, and BaddAssistude, she doesn’t have the juice to make it worth the squeeze and the statistics are bearing this out.
There’s a box of wine in the fridge. Enjoy your list of demands. Men are learning that there is more to life than fulfilling them.
Are you single? You must be if your author tag is “not the wifey type”. So how would you know exactly what a MAN is supposed to be? In fact, how do you know your list of demands factor in a quality relationship? Oh right, you don’t. Because you don’t have any results to show for yourself. Because if you were the “wifey type”, you’d be married. So basically that makes you a single woman trying to tell other people how to have a successful marriage. That’s like someone whose profession is matching people up, but is still single themselves. Or a marriage counselor who is divorced four times.
Instead of saying men shouldn’t be trying to change women, perhaps it’s women who shouldn’t be trying to change men. Society is littered with females who told men “I love you as you are, I don’t want to change you”; until the ring is on the finger. Suddenly the man “isn’t the same person you married”. It’s easy to say that men are emotionally unavailable when women withhold sex, withhold affection, cheat on tinder and facebook… It’s easier to talk about men when women see men as a disposable utility to pay their way in life while sleep with the guy who tingles their vagina.
Fact is, marriage is a detriment to man. It’s a detriment because the divorce court laws favor women instead of being equal to both genders. It’s a detriment because the family court system is detrimental to men in favor of women instead of being equal to both genders. But if you think it’s fair, then I’ll wait for the say when YOU are forced to pay alimony to your ex. It’s okay. If you ever find a guy up to your “standards” to marry you, I’ll wait. CDC says the chance of your marriage lasting past 10 years is 6%. So it shouldn’t take long.
Women get to file false rape claims with no consequence, and given all the male shaming that occurs in college, it’s no wonder male education statistics are in the tank. Fact is, this is a female society. When a woman can place a 9-1-1 call and file a false rape or abuse claim and destroy the life of her husband if she chooses; doesn’t make marriage a fair deal for ANY man. Given how the majority of divorces are filed by women, it’s easy to see why they don’t work out. Women have no incentive to stay. There’s plenty of quality men out there. Thing is, they’re tuning out because they see female nature for what it is.
Congratulations, you played yourself because I’m not reading all of that. Thanks for stopping by, though!
You make it sound like you were the intended audience. Rockafellar here, I believe was demonstrating the bizarre circumstance you have taken by not being the wifey type, but soliciting advice as to what a wifey wants… which, btw, is hypocritical. Remember, 7 and 8, then 9, but 2 is “very” important. In extending an olive branch, I will communicate to you what this 10 list is: an unsolicited dick pic. It wasn’t wanted, it advertises solely what your intentions and desires are (to the recipients detriment for a vast majority of such solicitations), it literally was just a list of your desires in a relationship, which when compared to one another, fall apart. The worst part is you are passing off your list of demands in which its plain even you don’t know what you want, as sage advice. Were I to casually throw a dart at this circumstance, your ‘PS’ is the icing on the cake: were a man to actually have standards, ‘cheating’ is a deal breaker. That is not tolerated, ever, there is no hanging on until she figures it out, however you seem to portray it as just a ‘bump in the road’. To your credit, indeed, men should have standards. This list demonstrates why you fall well below them.
You lack reading comprehension.
Great piece! We as men have been trained to think that women are just supposed to put up with our shit until we get it together (If we ever do). Most of us aren’t really a “prize” at all, our egos just trick us into thinking this. Good list. I hoped this helps some of the fellas a little.
Thank you! I wouldn’t hold my breath for it helping, though.
Naylor. Good luck with being a cuckold. Side note…if you don’t allow her to sleep with other men it doesn’t matter. She is sleeping around on you.
Excellent my dear..
Girl, I’m reading so much pain and discomfort in these here comments! This was hilarious, fresh, and timely!